Who Made Me a Princess

Some time had passed since the ball began, so the hall was empty. Alone, I walked down the white path.

Click clack. My steps creepily followed me.

At first, my steps were slow, but because of the sound, I sped up. And after a while, I was almost running down the hall, holding my dress skirts.

Crash!

But I felt myself trip. Soon, a pain spread from my knees and my hands. When I came to attention, I was lying down on the snow white marble floor.

I clenched my teeth and tried to stand up, but for some reason, my legs couldn’t do it. The sound of my heels scratching against the floor rang in the hallway.

And I looked down to see my trembling hand gripping the floor. I realized that I was shaking like a tree in the wind.

My fists must’ve clenched so tightly in the ballroom that my nails hurt.

I couldn’t remember how I left that place or how I was lying down in this hall here.

It was the first time I had been put forth in the public like that like I was an animal in a zoo, and it was the first time sharp words cut through me so harshly.

Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

I felt like I was going to vomit, so I wrapped my neck with my trembling hand. I didn’t understand what had just happened.

“…..Princess!”

From somewhere not too far, I heard a voice, and I stopped trembling. Rushed footsteps approached me and I heard a low voice.

“Princess Athanasia.”

He didn’t even seem to be scared about being jailed for treason if I was called a princess. I knew who it was the moment I heard the voice, so I turned my head the other way.

Couldn’t he just go away and pretend like he didn’t see anything?

Feeling his gaze, I asked myself. I thought I could feel his presence going further so I thought my stubbornness had worked.

And so I flinched when I felt something on my ankle.

“Please excuse me.”

Perhaps feeling that I was surprised, Ezekiel loosened his grip on my ankle. It was as if he was saying I could escape from his grip anytime I wanted to.

After unintentionally turning my head, I met his eyes.

Because it was Claude’s birthday today, he was wearing a fancy outfit like at the debutante ball.

But his hair was slightly messed up like he had run over.

I just looked at him quietly without moving, so Ezekiel moved his hand again. In his hand was my heel.

I belatedly realized that my heel had fallen off when I fell. And the reason why I felt his presence going away was because he went to get my shoe.

Ezekiel carefully slipped my shoe back on.

I had strange feelings looking at him do that. Perhaps it was because his touch was so soft.

He had probably seen everything that had happened in the ballroom, but his gaze and voice were unwaveringly warm…..so my emotions that I had been pushing back started to come back up.

Drip.

And at that moment, Ezekiel’s shoulders flinched.

I felt his expression change upon seeing my face, but I couldn’t stop another tear from falling.

This was all…because Ezekiel was nice to me.

Ironically, in this moment, I thought of the person who hurt me the most. I clearly remembered what I had lost.

And realizing that, I was humiliated with myself.

Hurt. To think that I was hurt from Claude. Because he denied me. Because he treated me roughly. To think that was why my chest hurt and I was crying.

I felt so foolish I laughed.

At first, I lied to live. The time I spent with him was just for my survival.

But what was this. It turned out like this in the end.

From some moment, I had started to care for him. So I didn’t want to believe that he forgot about me, and I was scared of the fact that he might not remember me in the future.

Rather than the fact that he might kill me, I was sad because he might deny me and not treat me as he did in the past.

But I didn’t want to acknowledge that fact.

From before, I was used to being alone, and there were countless times when I gave up on things I wanted.

Even if I felt like I would die without it, the probability of me having it was less than picking a star from the star.

So I couldn’t be greedy. Even if I desperately wanted something, I couldn’t express that desire. That was how I protected myself, and how I blocked myself off from this pathetic feeling.

So I could do it again.

Like I didn’t own anything from the beginning, like the affection and warmth that person had given me wasn’t mine from the beginning….

Even if Claude disappeared from my life, even without Blackie. I could get along just fine.

But every time I thought about it, my chest felt like it was being squeezed.

The person that I had been closest to was me. But now, I was a stranger to myself.