QT: Against My Will

Nothing worked.

It ended in Xuan Mu’s inability to fall asleep; he was always dreaming. Sleeping pills never worked; it even worsened his symptoms.

Xuan Mu’s paranoia intensified.

He would send Bing Shi to all kinds of doctors to check her health. She would return back with a report, saying she was all good and healthy.

Bing Shi couldn’t drive a car or a plane without Xuan Mu.

At nights, he would roll and kick around the bed. One time, Bing Shi got a straight kick to her waist. She was sent flying out of bed. The impact took her breath away. Seeing her gasping for air, Xuan Mu was terrified of himself. He almost killed her! He carried her to a hospital while apologizing endlessly.

Back at home, Bing Shi and Xuan Mu sat at the couch in the brightly lit living room.

“It’s not your fault. You did it against your will,” she said with a reassuring smile.

.....

He felt like a failure. He put his forehead on her shoulder, his voice trembling, “Why are you not scared of me? Why do you care for me? You can leave whenever you want, you know I would do nothing to stop you, right? So why are you still with me?”

“If you give me a reason to hate you, I’ll leave, and I don’t care if you kill yourself or not,” she caressed his cheek, leaning over, she took the initiative and pressed her lips against his, opening their mouth together, their tongues connected.

The desolate man who was deserted a while ago was brought back to life. As each touch of her tongue was like healing water for his dried-out soul.

Bing Shi would never allow herself to fall in love first. Noticing Xuan Mu’s interest in her, she reciprocated his level of interest. She didn’t judge his face nor his background, but... she judged his every action towards her, heartlessly. It didn’t mean that he ought to act perfectly before her, the opposite. Most of the time they had to be themselves while taking their interest into consideration.

Courting Bing Shi was extremely difficult. She was too careful, and that time she was only seventeen! Promise her the skies, and she would toss it back at you. ‘Actions speak louder than words.’ This could be said about Xuan Mu too, his requests for a partner were much more demanding than hers.

The final verdict? She let herself fall in love... only because her brain allowed it...

This girl!

But the love she gave him in exchange was deep and unparalleled, something even Xuan Mu didn’t know could exist. Like ocean waves, she kept drowning him into a bottomless mending sea. Fortunately, Xuan Mu was a shark, the king of the ocean welcomed her mending waves with open arms.

Another bed appeared in their bedroom.

Bing Shi felt powerless.

Now, he wouldn’t even move from her side, afraid of something happening to her.

· · — · ???· — · ·

Bing Shi watched the man who was rolling on the bed on the other side of the room with teary eyes. He was trying to fall asleep, but couldn’t.

“Still can’t fall asleep?”

Xuan Mu turned around to see a worried face with dark circles under her eyes. “Mm...,” he mumbled tiredly.

Bing Shi came near his bed, opening the drawer she put an eye patch under his eyes and cleaned up his sweaty body. “This can’t do. You’ll die without sleeping,” she hugged him as tears fell down her eyes.

He hugged her back. “Death would be my relief. Anything is better than this torture,” he said through closed eyes, “Sorry for saying such words.”

“This is nothing compared to you screaming into a pillow. I should raise a red flag for myself,” responded Bing Shi with a forced grin.

“There are red flags all around you, and you still choose to stay?” asked Xuan Mu, his eyes began to sting painfully, “You really have a Stockholm syndrome.”

“Nah, It’s just our kind of messed up love. And even if I had, my captor is such a funny guy that he deserves a candy,” said Bing Shi as she tried not to fall asleep.

Xuan Mu caressed her hair, “I’m giving you the last chance for you to leave me.”

“I take it back, no candy for you,” Bing Shi yawned, snuggling herself into his palm, she closed her eyes.

He smiled helplessly, “Hmpf, who wants a candy. That’s too few. I want at least three candies.”

“Mm, anything for you,” answered Bing Shi softly; she fell asleep right after.

Seeing her falling asleep, Xuan Mu pecked her hair, carrying her into her bed. He wouldn’t let her sleep on his bed which was stained with his sweat and tears. Looking down, she had to be too tired. Usually, she would wake up from such movements. After placing her down, instead of his bed, he walked towards the office.

· · — · ???· — · ·

The next day...

A tall man in a black winter coat appeared in a high-end jewelry shop.

The well-groomed manager greeted him with utmost respect, “Mr. Xuan Mu, welcome.” He showed Xuan Mu throughout the locked display cases, which were protecting the precious pieces of jewelry, towards the private room. Opening the door, he seated Xuan Mu in an armchair. After placing a cup of water before him, he left the room.

Soon after, a male sales associate with two guards behind him appeared with a metal briefcase. After a polite greeting and a handshake, he placed the briefcase on the table and unlocked it with a fingerprint sensor.

+— Author’s note —-+

I saved this song only for this chapter, for this scene. It’s a beautiful duet. Check it out: Can You Hold Me – NF ft. Britt Nicole (Lyrics)

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