QT: Against My Will

“Are you going to take one too?” she asked nervously, taking a last sip, she placed her bottle aside, and studied the package, “I get addicted fast, and never tried one before.”

“Don’t worry.” Lu Kai took a cigarette in between his fingers and used a lighter to light the cigarette. Showing her how to do it, he held the smoke in his mouth for a moment, taking in the nostalgic taste, he exhaled a gush of smoke and placed the cigarette between her lips. “Inhale the smoke slowly. Don’t rush.”

Nodding her head, Bing Shi inhaled the smoke into her lungs by taking a deep breath, which irritated her throat. Exhaling, her brain got an instant, addicting hit. She automatically took another drag to soothe the areas which controlled her emotions and calmed her down.

Sensing that something was wrong, Lu Kai quickly stubbed the cigarette against the ashtray on the concrete floor.

“Give me more.” Bing Shi’s ‘high’ only lasted for a few seconds. When it was over, her brain was left in an immediate form of withdrawal which came with a feeling of anxiety, “I still can’t remember.”

“No. That’s enough.” Lu Kai watched the disappointed Bing Shi.

“But I want to remember...”

“Are you sure?” he asked. The last time it was something bad that triggered her past memories.

.....

She nodded.

Lu Kai pressed his thumb against her forehead and tried to send her a scene from his old timeline, regretting his choice right after. He quickly caught the falling Bing Shi.

“Ngh!” Bing Shi held her head in pain, seeing the scene through Lu Kai’s astral form. She fought Lu Kai with all her strength and screamed with all her might, “Save him! Why are you taking away his breathing tubes?! He’s still alive! You can’t remove him from getting the life support! Get away from him! I don’t care what he ordered you! Get lost!”

The Lu Kai on the death bed looked like Xuan Mu. But the Xue Bi in her memories didn’t act the same way Bing Shi did, confusing Bing Shi endlessly.

Bing Shi wanted to stride towards the unmoving man on the bed, but Xue Bi stood rooted in place. Their timelines mixed up. One moment she was crying silently as Xue Bi, while the next moment she was fighting with the doctors where her tears flooded like waterfalls. The heart-wrenching pain tore at her lungs. She gasped for air as both of his names were etched on each breath of hers.

“Bing Shi, wake up!” The terrified Lu Kai didn’t know what to do as he tried to wake her up with little slaps against her cheeks, enduring her sharp nails and kicks, but nothing could compare to her agonizing cry, “I don’t care anymore, you don’t have to remember, so wake up please!”

The painful memories were deep and horrible. Xue Bi slowly moved on, while Bing Shi was stuck in time, the grief presided in her heart. No moment was a moment without him. Her whole time was devoted to him. She cursed at her past for trying to forget him. Bing Shi would always turn back to the time spent shortly before and after his death, going through the same nightmare again and again. Her primal cries were raw communication, the purest way one soul could ask another for help.

“Bing Shi, wake up please,” begging with a hoarse voice, Lu Kai rubbed her back as he listened to how she asked for him in each of her prayers. (When she took care of his body.) Her screams were like agony seeping into his skin. He took it in, let himself feel it, and stayed right there to helplessly. How much did love hurt? He thought it would only get better, but it didn’t. He somehow found himself chained, confused as to why he continued to allow himself to go through this torture.

· · — · ???· — · ·

Opening her red eyes abruptly after two whole hours, Bing Shi stuck to his chest like a leech, making sure that he was alive, her throat filled with fear, droplets of cold sweat dripped down her forehead, her hands were freezing cold, she spoke out painfully, “You... left... you left me... again.”

“No... I didn’t. I was with you the whole time,” Lu Kai squeezed her body tightly, her silent whispers drowned him into briny depths. The wait always killed him bit by bit. Was it worth it? No. But here he was, waiting for her, unconditionally...

“You... are right,” Bing Shi leaned against his body as she slowly fell asleep, “I love... you more... than Xue Bi... so much more than ... it’s scary...”

“I know... but I still love you more,” Xuan Mu held her dearly against his chest. Her love was sick, but so was his. Nobody taught them how to love and this was the result. They learned from each other. Nothing will stand in their way again, not even death. He will stick to Bing Shi until the end of time. No, not Bing Shi. Bing Shi’s soul. He could never be sure with this woman. What if another version of her appeared, catching him off guard like Xue Bi? Well, that version would have a hella hard time changing his opinion. But he knew that eventually, he would fall for her the same way she fell for all of his lifetimes.

If Lu Kai had a choice, and Bing Shi couldn’t remember, which one would he choose? There didn’t exist a substitute for Xue Bi nor Bing Shi. Lu Kai pecked Bing Shi’s head. Of course, he would choose the one who loved him the most, the one most deserving of his love. Now, he understood why she asked for Xuan Mu, the version which not only made her fall in love but also taught her how to love.

+— Author’s note —-+

Webnovel messed up with me today.

I uploaded a 1,5k chapter, but they only counted 1270, which forced me to write an in-between filler chapter that had to be at least 1k words long. I apologise for the inconvenience.

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

Hello, dear reader. If by any chance, you are reading this somewhere else besides W e b n o v e l, it means you’re reading my novel illegally. To support my work, please read QT: Against My Will from an original source, which is w w w dot w e b n o v e l dot com. Thank you. -ChubbyLiv-

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